


The Joker and the Thief

by Cinn (Lilitia)



Series: Mischief [1]
Category: Mass Effect Trilogy, Thunderbirds
Genre: Banter, Gen, Pranks and Practical Jokes, Rescue Missions, Underwater, invisible
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-20
Updated: 2020-03-20
Packaged: 2021-02-28 17:47:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,129
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23231185
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lilitia/pseuds/Cinn
Summary: Kasumi Goto is one of the best thieves in the business. Gordon Tracy is the practical joker in International Rescue. Can either resist having some fun when their paths accidentally cross?
Series: Mischief [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1678999
Comments: 2
Kudos: 2





	The Joker and the Thief

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I own no rights to any of the Thunderbirds or Mass Effect universes. This is purely for fun and no profit etc. Don't sue.
> 
> Spoilers: Shouldn't be any because it's set outside the series/games. However, it's been written after seeing up to the end of TAG S3, and playing all ME games & expansions, so maybe implicit stuff or assumed knowledge.
> 
> Cinn: Originally inspired by the moment in TAG S3E03 Path of Destruction where Gordon sits on Virgil as he's doing push ups reminding me of Kasumi in the citadel expansions. Now it's going to be a series of non-sequential mini-stories of different pairs of ME/TAG characters. Thank SinEater for inadvertently inspiring the expansion.
> 
> However, the last time I wrote a cross-over fic I think it took about 8 years for me to finish it. Here's hoping this doesn't take as long, but I can't promise anything.
> 
> Also I couldn't find what the submergible Gordon uses is called except in S1E12 Under Pressure he says he's "going EVA" before grabbing it.
> 
> Update: Whilst all Mischief stories are kinda linked, they're also independent of each other.

* * *

Some people just had too many credits. That was the only explanation as to why someone would build a casino over a lake to try and win some fancy architecture prize. The building itself was beautiful, a strange combination of gothic and modern, with too much glass. Inside, however, was as traditionally chaotic and noisy as any casino Kasumi had ever been in. Any grandeur was left at the door, she could only assume it had to have been some kind of requirement.

Kasumi gracefully danced between people - especially waiters and bouncers - as she observed her surroundings. Bright lights, both exuberant and angry customers, surly bouncers, harassed showgirls, charming bar staff. It was a glorious melting pot for her to hide in so long as she didn't literally bump into anyone as she cased the joint.

The job was simple, it wasn't about credits, it was to steal a statue. As she did another loop around the main foyer she couldn't understand why. It was an ugly thing, and nowhere near the value she was being paid for it. Ah well, she thought as she ran her hand along it, more fool them if they wanted to waste their credits. She had to assume it was personal, but she knew better than to ask questions like that.

She had already located the security cameras, made easy by her natural skill enhanced by the sensors built into her suit. That allowed her to climb up to a high vantage point without being spotted so that she could observe. She had been in this job long enough that spotting plain clothes bouncers and guards was even easier than the security cameras, and she had the patience to learn the patterns to their patrols and shift changes. Not enough of a gap. A blackout was too noticeable, and she'd have a hard time moving the piece in question. A maintenance request might do the trick, but she'd have to lose the guards that would be forced to accompany it. For a painting she could switch it out with a copy or hologram long enough to be clear, but even cloaking the original presented problems of physical space.

But she was the best thief in the business, and she always came up with a solution.

She had just finalised a brilliantly mad, creative and fun plan when she felt a sound through her fingertips and balls of her feet where she was balanced in her viewpoint. She instantly turned to the source with a worried and surprised look as she knew what that meant, no one else had felt it beyond the hustle and bustle. She leapt towards the wall and she had just managed to activate the alarm when the rumbling shockwave of the explosion hit them, and she dived into an alcove to curl up as much out of harms way as possible as she heard the sound of glass shattering and the world shook around her before something big crashed to the floor nearby.

Kasumi didn't dare move until the noise died down and the floor stopped shaking under her, even when something heavy collided with her and sent her sprawling along the wall. She simply reigned herself back in and kept as tucked and small as possible until it felt safe enough to uncurl. Her eyes quickly adjusted to the darkness around her, and her ears were slowly starting to pick up the quieter and faraway sounds now that the thunderous ones had stopped. She quickly wiggled her fingers and toes; good, nothing broken, just bruised as she found her footing. Then she noticed that her cloaking tech had given out on her, and she flicked her forearm around so that she could do some quick maintenance, hoping something had just come loose or a similarly quick fix.

She was interrupted in her efforts by a softer noise in front of her, and she effortlessly slid backwards further into the shadows created by the beams that had fallen around her. Torn between her desire to fix her cloak, and her desire to find out what was coming her way. She pulled her hood further over her face - it would have to do - as she carefully watched a tall, bald but well dressed man approaching the statue she'd had her eye on stealing barely ten minutes ago. He snarled something at one of the masked people with him, but other than that he didn't turn from the statue.

Kasumi's mind was ticking over questions at a mile a minute. Was she hired to steal this before he got to it? Had he been hired to interrupt her? Was he her sponsor but had decided he didn't want to pay her after all? Was this a giant coincidence? How on earth was she going to correct for this?

Wait it out. Survive. You can always steal it again.

Kasumi watched as this man and his minions loaded the statue onto some kind of motorised platform - her field of view wasn't good enough to see what exactly - and left through one of the many holes they'd created in the building. The henchmen didn't seem particularly aware of their surroundings, but the man in charge kept looking around as if he expected something or someone to interrupt his heist - if this clumsy and unsophisticated affair could be called such - and try to stop him, but he didn't give any indication that he'd seen her specifically. She waited at least as long again as it had taken her to lose them before she moved at all, and that was to go back to attempting to get her cloak back up.

Thankfully she got lucky, and it was an easy fix so soon she was happily invisible again. As carefully as she could in a hurry - which for someone as agile and experienced as Kasumi, was almost effortless - followed the man who'd stolen from her whilst she'd been in the middle of casing the joint to steal the object herself. She easily climbed over and dodged around the obstacles in her way and got them back in her sight just as they were donning breather masks and then slowly disappeared into a pool of water at the end of the corridor.

Once they were all out of sight Kasumi ran to the edge of the water, cursing herself for leaving her own breather mask in her ride. She should know to expect the unexpected by now. She glanced back the way she had come doing the maths in her head, remembering now the pit in her stomach when gravity shifted during the explosion. She hadn't taken any notice of it at the time - she had prioritised keeping herself safe - but now she realised the building was slanted, and one half was submerged in the lake it was built above. How long till the other side joined it?

She booted up her wrist controller - a more sophisticated and elegant version to what most people had, most people couldn't afford omni-tools - and hacked her way into the systems that were still operational. She smiled to herself as she saw what she had available, she could still be a nuisance. A few more taps on her holo-display and she had created a veritable underwater maze for her usurper to have to navigate. A smile graced her features as she allowed herself to imagine she could even hear his frustrated scream from here.

Unfortunately, she had bigger problems. She had slowed him down, so she could reclaim her prize more easily, but as she turned around she knew she would be faced with the chaos of a fancy, architecture prize winning casino that had been blown up.

Kasumi was no stranger to devastation, her work had taken her to both ends of civilisation; the highs and the lows. She had stolen from high class manors to crime lord bases, from well stocked ships to scavenger vessels, from shiny new builds to abandoned war zones. But the sight that greeted her when she arrived back at what had been the atrium, the smoke, broken glass, fire, injured and screaming people was overwhelming, and if it weren't for the discipline required for her craft, she wouldn't have withstood it. As it was, she wasn't sure she did.

The electronic sensors built into her suit were in overdrive, alerting her to more hazards than she could count and dozens more serious threats such as pending structural integrity failures. She dismissed anything that she deemed as low priority, leaving her with a few seriously wounded people and a longer list of building problems. Most of which she couldn't do anything about due to lack of equipment. She changed her settings and rescanned, nodding to herself as she formulated a plan to create a safe area, that was possible, but she'd need to get them to cooperate. This time she flicked her omni-tool open to hack her way into the other personal devices available in the area, and soon enough a dozen different devices all pinged with an incoming message explaining how to make themselves safe. A couple of people didn't trust it, but a few others realised it was the best plan they had, and so they heeded the advice, most helping others where possible with the exception of a few selfish individuals. However, Kasumi would have been a little worried if there weren't some people who showed the worst of humanity even in a crisis. At least they weren't busy scooping up all the loose chips from the floor.

That left her free to work the building, or more rather rearrange some of the larger pieces of shrapnel and debris to provide barriers and safety for when the building inevitably collapsed onto them all.

She briefly wondered why she wasn't just leaving, this wasn't her mess. Nobody's perfect, she reminded herself with a wry grin.

Just as she finished moving a beam into a strategic location there was a loud groaning sound, as the entire building seemed to wobble beneath her feet. Seconds later gravity shifted and as people around her screamed as dozens of broken casino games slid across the floor Kasumi realised that they were falling. As she regained her footing and braced herself for the impact she changed her scan settings again and looked around; how quickly would they take on water?

There were more screams as they abruptly stopped as the floor leveled - the whole building sat in the lake now -, before lots of questions filled the silence, people were starting to panic. If panicking could solve anything, she could understand why they would, as it was she found it a bizarre reaction. Her cloak was useless in water, people could see voids as easily as a spotlight, but she needed to stop the water coming in if she could.

Kasumi had just managed to knock a large piece of rubble into place to restrict the water flow into the first of the leak her sensors had alerted her to when her comm flared to life. "We could just lift it out..." A deep voice suggested.

"Even Thunderbird 2 would struggle with the weight of a building that big." Another man corrected the first. Kasumi realised her systems had hacked into an open comm link. Wait, wouldn't International Rescue use highly encrypted channels? Maybe not if they had tried to reach someone at the casino for a sit rep first, maybe it had taken this long for her systems to connect?

"Well, we either airlift them out or drop Gordon in and he can bring them out in 4." The first voice corrected.

"Does the fact that we're taking on water affect the decision?" Kasumi asked, raising the comm to her mouth as she hurried to the next hole. "Or that I'm trying to seal the cracks?"

A number of voices all asked the same question; who was she? "The signal's coming from within the casino, I'm guessing we finally got through." A new voice explained, that made three.

"Apparently." Kasumi deadpanned. "Look, I don't plan on dying today, so if you need me to leave a way in, tell me now, otherwise I'm stopping this water as best I can."

"Do you have sensor readings?" The third voice asked and Kasumi confirmed that she did. "Can you upload them?" It was an odd request but Kasumi did as he asked. "Right, combining data... and got it. Looks like our best bet is sending Gordon in."

"Right, I'll go and prep 4 for drop." A fourth voice appeared, Kasumi figured that was Gordon.

"Okay, John, is there anything Virgil and I can do up here whilst we wait?" The second voice asked.

The third voice hummed as Kasumi wedged a leaking door shut with the remains of a beam, bolstering it with a roulette table. "The building isn't in great shape, Scott." He finally replied having thought about the problem. "EOS, can you run simulations to test what would happen if Thunderbird 1 or 2 attached grapples to stop the building sinking further?"

"On it." An electronically female voice asked. That sounded like more than a virtual intelligence. No... they wouldn't? Kasumi realised, of course they would. Hm, how much could she get for a true AI? Too risky. Better forget about EOS.

"Oh, would now be a good time to mention that someone blew this place to steal a statue and that they're still here?" Kasumi asked casually as she made her way to another fissure. She almost laughed at the loaded silence that enveloped the comm line.

"I think a 'good time' to mention that was five minutes ago." The second voice - the one John had called Scott if Kasumi was keeping up - corrected, clearly unhappy. By process of elimination that made Virgil the first voice as he reported dropping Thunderbird 4, whatever that meant.

"I don't suppose you happened to get eyes on the thief?" A no nonsense female voice suddenly cut in.

"As a matter of fact, I did. Want me to upload?" Kasumi asked cheekily, she could almost feel the glare as at least one of the men laughed. She liked this woman. "There you go." She added happily.

"As I suspected; The Hood." The woman informed them. "I'm on my way, and I'll inform Colonel Casey en route."

"Out of interest, Kayo, do you ever not suspect The Hood?" Gordon piped up, another loaded silence followed. "I mean... I'm just saying -"

"Gordon, stop digging." John warned before explaining the results of EOS' simulations, they weren't using the grapples. Kasumi had to resist a smile. These guys were crazy, she decided, then again, they probably had to be to do what they did.

Kasumi decided to pull back from the conversation, still listening in case anything useful came up, but otherwise monitoring her scanners. The Hood - she'd heard rumours about him in her circles, but never a face before now - was still traversing the maze she'd created from sealing off various corridors and the hazards he'd created when blowing the place up.

Having done all she could without them, she followed the data from her scanner she found the place Thunderbird 4 was going to surface and waited patiently. She hadn't really been sure what to expect of a Thunderbird, but bright yellow was not it, nor was the guy who jumped out of it moments later, she thought she had been young to achieve infamy, he was younger. He looked around as if lost and raised his wrist to activate the controller she could see. "John, can you send me a route to where people are trapped?" He asked, and sure enough a few moments later a map appeared on his holo-display.

Kasumi nodded to herself where she was still cloaked, leaning casually against a wall with her arms folded, before moving to follow him. As she did a splashing sound followed and she realised the water level had risen a little whilst she'd been waiting, she quickly scarpered as Gordon turned around to where she'd been stood, but saw nothing but ripples, he raised his wrist towards where she had been stood and scanned. "Guys... can a new building be haunted?" He asked quietly.

"Gordon, there's no such thing as ghosts." John retorted.

Kasumi couldn't resist tapping one of Gordon's shoulders, effortlessly avoiding the way he span around to see what was there. "Are you sure?" He whispered unhappily and Kasumi bit down her giggle. Oh, this could be fun. None of his brothers dignified that with an answer as Gordon made his way along the route John had given him and Kasumi followed still cloaked as she debated how involved she really was in all of this. His pace slowed as the place she'd left everyone else came into view.

For a moment Gordon took in the scene around them in wide eyed horror, before setting his jaw and striding over to where the main group of people were situated, still surrounded by the protective barriers Kasumi had constructed out of the rubble. "Hi, I'm Gordon, I'm with International Rescue. I'm here to get you out." He introduced, causing quite a few murmurs but generally people relaxed at the revelation that International Rescue were on scene. He turned away from them and activated his wrist controller. "John, can you scan for life-signs? I need to know how many people aren't in my immediate vicinity." He asked quietly.

As he was waiting for John to finish scanning Kasumi stood on the lever of a fallen one-armed bandit, smiling at the way Gordon almost jumped as he whirled towards the source of the sound, looking a strange mixture of worried and relieved. It must just have fallen over, he told himself, turning back to his wrist controller as John explained his result as he populated the holo-display with a series of red blips. Gordon's face showed his worry even if he was able to hide it from his voice - that explained why he'd turned away from the people he was here to rescue. "I don't have time to get them all if the building moves again..." He admitted quietly.

Kasumi scooped up one of the chips from the floor and quickly scrambled up to get a better vantage point, before tossing it towards where there was a large hole in the side of the building. It hit the wall and the noise made Gordon turn around. "What? Does your fancy tech not show you holes in the side of buildings?" She teased.

"Where is that voice coming from?" Gordon asked, stunned, his eyes briefly landing on her still cloaked form before darting to the next place. "Also, Scott, Virgil, we might be able to airlift some people out." He shook off his surprise and confusion. Kasumi had to admit she was a little impressed, given the brief interactions she'd overheard she expected him to try and joke his way through. Apparently he knew there was a time and a place for banter, and when not to force it, and the ego she'd assumed he had was way off base. She liked being that kind of wrong.

"I'm jet-packing down now." Scott confirmed.

Jet packs too? Kasumi definitely needed a peek at their inventory. Whatever fun or help she'd been going to provide was shelved as she felt the ground shift and a rumbling shockwave dislodged dust and some of the smaller debris. "What was that?" Gordon asked, raising his comm.

Kasumi quickly had her scanner open. "The Hood got tired of my maze, he's decided to blow his way out." She explained, before her eyes went wide. "And we're now taking on water a lot faster." 

"You heard that, right?" Gordon asked Scott, who looked at his brother as if he were crazy, before nodding.

"We can't get you out if we can't see you." Scott added.

"I have a job to finish! I need to borrow a breather!" Kasumi replied cryptically as she ran towards where Thunderbird 4 was waiting, hopping aboard and swiping a breather, attaching it before diving into the water to catch up with The Hood.

The Hood had a head start, but his team also had the heavier weight to content with, so she was hoping her speed would make up for it. Her hunch turned out to be right, now she was hoping it would be dark enough this far down that so long as she was cautious the void her cloak caused wouldn't be too obvious. She carefully swam along one wall as she watched his henchmen clearing the final bit of debris in their way, that would allow them outside of the building, she could see some kind of vessel waiting for them. Now she had to balance her stealth with the need to be close enough to hitch a ride, this was going to be interesting, maybe even fun.

The darkness and debris worked in her favour as she gracefully swam and pulled herself between cover to stay out of sight as much as she could whilst steadily catching up to them. As they were busy loading the statue into the cargo bay - or what she assumed to be the cargo bay - Kasumi found herself a handhold on the outside of the vessel, ready to make her move once it was safe to board. She had patience on her side, she knew the value of waiting for just the right moment, and having the skills to be able to take full advantage of all the opportunities and problems that a job threw at her. Skills such as hacking electronics, she realised with a small smile, and opened her omni-tool - also covered by her cloak - and quickly hacked into the vessel's power distribution systems and caused a minor overload in a junction box well away from where she was currently holding on. As predicted, all three of the thieves turned to look at it, and she dived through the still open cargo doors and into the ship to hide and wait for them to move.

Apparently the whole cargo bay acted like an air-lock, and soon the water was being pumped out. "You, take the flyer and distract Kayo, I don't want my niece ruining my plans, again." The Hood ordered one of his henchmen, and Kasumi's eyes went wide at the way he just casually threw that around. Before realising it made sense, he wouldn't care if people knew he had a family connection to International Rescue, but Kayo might care about who found out. Interesting strategy, she found herself wondering if the others knew, of course they must, Kayo had appeared sensible, therefore must know that blackmail loses it's power if you aren't ashamed of the content. Her chain of thought was interrupted by The Hood talking again. "I want my chance to ransom this back to it's rightful owner, maybe now that their little prize winning casino is in pieces they'll take my seriously."

Another realisation hit Kasumi even harder than the previous one. The message hiring her had talked in the same way. She realised that she hadn't been hired to steal it from the casino, but to steal it from the man who had just stolen it and return it to the casino. She frowned, she wished people would just be straight with her about the job. Details like that put her in danger. How had they know that the statue was about to be stolen in the first place? She brushed that thought aside, that was not important as she watched the small group disband and leave her alone in the cargo bay.

Alone, soaking wet, and hidden behind a stack of assorted crates, Kasumi activated her omni-tool again and to start pulling her ideas together. All she needed was... ah ha! She opened the crate she'd just scanned and sure enough, the supplies she needed - namely parachutes -, and enough for her purposes as well as leaving enough for the crew if required. She could feel them gaining altitude, so she went back to watching the feed from her omni-tool so that she knew when to make her move. When it was time she moved swiftly, attaching ropes and parachutes before hacking back into the vessel's systems and once she was ready, she locked down the cargo bay before opening the bay doors, her grip on the handrail increasing as the pressure changed. She didn't even look as the alarms went off, she didn't even turn as she heard a loud bang against the internal door, instead she simply tugged on the rope she'd attached to the statue to start the platform moving waiting for it to pass her on the ramp before dropping that rope and running after it, jumping as she reached the edge of the ramp as both statue and platform fell away from the vessel, parting ways as they fell.

Kasumi had done airdrops before, she had a good idea of how long to wait before tugging hard on either her parachute or the rope tied to her waist that would deploy the ones she'd attached to the statue. The vessel The Hood was using was a clunky, slow thing, she knew she had time unless he started shooting. Then she heard the sound of jets, and looked up to see a sleek black ship zoom past, this she had not accounted for, so she aimed her SMG at the parachutes above the statue and fired, puncturing them before turning them to her own, they had slowed enough that the free-fall now was not just a dive into the sea.

Once submerged Kasumi unclasped herself from the remnants of her parachute, before swimming to free the statue as well, before retying the rope and swimming as hard as she could to get some distance from where the parachutes still floating. She wasn't worried about the fact that the statue was pulling her down at the same time, she had a breather mask, and a plan, as she tapped buttons on her omni-tool. Her ship might not have sophisticated remote control capabilities, but it had enough for her to drive it into the sea nearby so that she could get to it and escape. Her ship was small, but with enough cargo space for her to complete her jobs, and it wasn't rated for deep sea, but it could withstand a few hundred metres. It's main features were all related to stealth and security, the rest were perfectly normal and average features for private ships these days. Now she was loaded up, she just had to find the best place to return her prize so that she could claim her credits.

Meanwhile Gordon had just finished transferring the people he'd been able to evacuate in Thunderbird 4 into Thunderbird 2's module, where Scott and Virgil had airlifted everyone else too. "That's everyone we've got." Scott confirmed with John, who appeared on Scott's wrist controller display.

John nodded once to indicate he'd heard as he looked at something off-screen. "My scanners don't show any more life-signs, and most of the casino is underwater now. It's unlikely that there are any more survivors." He admitted.

Scott and Gordon shared an unhappy look, this was the worst part of their job, the knowledge that no matter how hard they tried, they might not save everyone. "Is it worth me looking anyway? If there's still air pockets..."

John glanced at Scott, unsure if Gordon's optimism was due to his usually sunny nature or the fact that time hadn't eroded it as much as theirs yet. "Chances are their vitals would be strong enough for me to read if they were able to make it to an air pocket." John assured his younger brother, before glancing at Scott. "But... I guess - if you're careful - it wouldn't hurt to check."

Gordon glanced from the holo-display to Scott, and after a moment the eldest brother nodded once. "But be careful." Scott added firmly, and Gordon nodded and hurried back to Thunderbird 4 to grab the EVA to allow him to traverse the casino more quickly. He didn't expect to find anyone else, but he also had to check, still unsure where their friendly neighbourhood ghost was. He must have covered about three quarters of the ruins when John's voice surprised him. "Don't do that!" He warned as he quickly pulled himself back on course and not accidentally driving into rubble.

John chuckled, Gordon had to figure this was payback for years of pranks. Oh boy, John was so not going to win that one, Gordon swore to himself. "Sorry." John apologised, in a way that only a brother could not sound sorry at all. "But I've just seen a life-sign flash up and then disappear almost instantly, I'm sending you coordinates now, could you please check it wasn't a glitch?"

"On it." Gordon confirmed, changing direction back to the place John directed him to. "It wasn't a glitch, John." Gordon confirmed when he arrived in the area, a statue in front of him that hadn't been there before, with one of their breathers fastened around it's head and a red rose fastened to it's hand. "My guess is this is the statue The Hood stole." He explained. "She's returned our breather, but does anyone know why there's a red rose?"

"A red rose?" Kayo cut in. "Did you get a name?" None of the brothers could provide one, and Kayo despaired slightly because of course it wouldn't have occurred to any of them to ask. "Kasumi Goto, the red rose is her calling card." A silence hung in the air as Kayo couldn't understand how none of them knew who Kasumi Goto was, before realising that most people wouldn't. Kasumi was infamous in a very small number of circles, the thief had gone to great lengths to make sure her reputation was established whilst being secret. "She's one of the best thieves of our time. She's practically a myth, but notorious to the people who know of her."

"You sound like you admire her." Scott half teased, half scolded.

"I can respect the people - or their abilities - I need to bring in if they're that good at what they do." Kayo retorted. "And she is."

"So I wasn't going crazy." Gordon figured, before glancing back at his equipment. "My scanners aren't picking anyone up, my guess is we won't find her unless she wants us to." He paused looking back at the statue, before going to check the rest of the casino, wondering whether or not they'd ever find out why a notorious thief both helped and haunted him during a rescue.

* * *

**Author's Note:**

> Cinn: I will take ideas on which characters to pair up. I currently have Kasumi/Gordon, Kayo/Liara, Brains/Mordin & EOS/EDI and working on more. I wasn't going to try and make these romantic pairs, it's just for a bit of fun & humour.


End file.
